Friday Day 15

well this is written in retrospect, because the early hours of Friday morning I
a) began to hit the wall with this cold I have been fighting off for a few weeks now
b) had a massive Dark Night of the Soul event and it really really wobbled me.

The cards I have drawn for that time in retrospect was...

Avoid the Ace of Cups to meet your destiny.
Being overwhelmed by the emotion. Sit with it, let it out, let the tears and the snot come out, but do not become attached to them. Let it flow, let it got through its process, do not try to stop it or hold it in because there is Wisdom in it. Also, do not wallow in it, else the Wisdom will drown in the self-pity.
Also, there is a warning here to not start anything. And I feel here is really true that when I feel really low I try to find something 'new' to do to take my mind off it, to distract me and this card is saying to AVOID that.

And whilst I didnt join something or spend lots of money buying something stupid, I did look, explore and realise that no where or thing is going to make me feel better, only me, only my spirit can do that.
There is nothing NEW that can fix this feeling, it is not meant to be FIXED or changed or moved or run away from, you can't wish yourself out of it - you just have to sit and let it flow.

To encourage - the 3 of Cups to meet your destiny.
After the evil moments in the early hours of Friday where I felt so ill and so overwhelmed by everything, I did something I rarely ever do.
I told someone about how I was feeling, and how it all fits together to make me perspective my life to be one big miserable mess. Of course, it isn't, its just my ego kicking and screaming as it does it last death speech on the play that is my spiritual journey.
Telling me people gave me a)support, b)love and kindness c)and stopped the over dramatic depressive side from really overwhelming me because I have people that care, and your demons cant tell you you are unloved if people are telling you at that moment you are.
And in talking about it, it flowed and with perspective and it felt good.

So together I am to let it flow, avoid being overwhelmed, and repressing it, but just let it flow with the people you love who can help you on that process. The 2 of Swords is saying not to repress, but to just sit and connect with spirit. I would like to think I was able to do that after the first panic.
Isnt it interesting when your body picks to be too ill to go to work, to full of cold/fluy symptoms and even being deaf in one ear so that you really listen to the wisdom hitting you in the face lol.