25 is the day I was born... It is also a very special number to me, my lucky number :-)
Today I pulled my cards this morning and I was again, confused.
To Avoid - 10 of Disks.
The image of the kabbalah here is nothing new to Thoth fans. In the Via we have the initiate holding the image of the kabbalah's tree of life diagram, and above that an initiate performing the Sign of the Enterer.
This is the secret that as in malkuth, so is kether, and that in that wisdom we know we can assess all the power and knowledge and energy of the universe once we attune ourselves to that frequency. The performing of the Sign of the Enterer is how we, the initiates, are able to get our frequency to resonate with that of what we seek - and so we can project, become and work with that energy.
That is part of the spiritual majestic journey of High Magick, the more we work magically with the Kabbalah, perhaps for our own egotistical gains, soon we become changed by the frequencies we invoke and evoke... and grow to be better than the person we were at the beginning of the journey.
All this imagery was amazing - and whilst I love the deep symbolism in this deck - it can be really pigging difficult to put that into a daily, mundane reading. What the hell does that mean in our every day life??
To encourage is the 4 of Disks...
Here, we have the initiate holding up the image of 4 disks in their square formation, and I just instantly see the Thoth's 4 of Disks, of the house in the fortress, protected and strong, yet possibly isolated.
And I see the image of the 4 of Pentacles in the RWS - the king who appears to be miserly and not giving of the coin he has. He holds on to it for security, for his own selfishness...
Well - this is hardly the picture that I want to project into my life today.
So I left my draw this morning with no real understanding what I was being asked to Avoid or Encourage that day....
And then it hit me throughout the day.
I was talking to a colleuge and somehow we got talking about spirituality, life after death etc. She mentioned to me how she used to do lots of courses, learning about healing energies and mediumship, psychic surgery etc. She mentioned a lot of 'buzz words' that people say.... and I felt so elated that there was someone at work who was into the slightly spooky side of life.
However something in me just said - tell her the bare bones, do not divulge everything of who you are and what you do. Say enough to show you have a lot in common, but do not reveal too much, do not let go of all that you are.
I thought that this was actually a rather selfish thing - to hold on and not to share. I am so sure she would be fascinated about the things that I do and have done, learnt and practice. Surely I would have found an 'ally' in the workplace! She shared a lot about her path and I wanted to respect that by sharing mine, and yet my spirit said to hold back, nod, listen and ask questions - do not reveal what is within.
And later, on my walk it hit me. It was my HGA protecting me from myself, as well as protecting me from her.
Whilst it is amazing to share the journey, it is tempting to let yourself be open to everything and anyone slightly the same as you. And yet this is how we became injured by people's prejudices and expectations, misinformation and, more dangerously can be fuel to the fire of any work place issue. So to protect yourself by a fortress (4 of Disks) means you can safely be who you are to the extent that they need to know or you need to share. It is a safe boundary where truths can be intermingled, without losing or deceiving on another.
And yet, it was the greatest secret - in that because I am working (or trying) to work my way towards my destiny, to my HGA, raising my energy and frequency so I can feel, see and be transformed so I resonate on the levels of the spirits I work with (10 of Disks)... and that for that Great Work to continue I need to be in this fortress of protection, of the 'what I share at work' vs 'what I share with my brothers and sisters on the path.'
Just as magicians work within a Magic Circle to protect ourselves and raise our energies to resonate with the frequency we wish to work with and use (and so be transformed by) - in real life our 'outer selves' are our Magic Circle that we walk about in whilst we are shopping, working, entertaining, watching the TV etc so that the Great Work can keep happening within the safety of the Fortress, safety of the Circle and work on the soul within.
It is not selfish - it is necessary.
Interesting revelation.
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