My destiny card is the 2 of Swords and it states Agrippa's image (via Picatrix) is
"An angry man, in whose hand is a Pipe, and the form of a man reading in a book; the operation of this is in justifying and helping the miserable and weak against the powerful and wicked:"
- angry man with a pipe - not an image of me as such.
- Man reading a book - Hell yeah thats me
- Helping the miserable and the weak - most definitely part of my Destiny.
And from Book T
Contradictory characters in the same nature, strength through suffering; pleasure after pain. Sacrifice and trouble, yet strength arising therefrom, ... as though the pain itself had brought forth beauty. Arrangement, peace restored; truce; truth and untruth; sorrow and sympathy. Aid to the weak; arrangement; justice, unselfishness; also a tendency to repetition of affronts on being pardoned; injury when meaning well; given to petitions; also a want of tact, and asking question of little moment; talkative.
Strength through sufferining... sacrifice and strength from that, truth and untruth, sorrow and sympathy, aid to the weak, unselfishness...These are all the qualities that I found in my life after I found my purpose in life.
Some people always know what they want to DO when they get older. As a kid they are playing the policeman or the baker, the teacher or the doctor because thats what they know they want to do. I never had such childlike dreams. When I was a little girl I was taught in a school by nuns, so I thought the only real 'career' option for me as a woman was to either get married and have babies (ewww) or become a nun. So I never really thought about what I wanted to be because I thought that was the option. So I settled on this little idea in my head without much thought or worry because I thought it was a fact of life.
It was only as I grew up 11+ that I heard of women having other careers, being scientists and doctors etc, and inspired by a TV show I thought 'oh a Vet, I'd like to be that'. Never really thought about it again, it was just an idea caught on by my environment (and I was highly influenced by my environment then). As I continued through school and even college I had no real idea of what I wanted to do. Like most young people I just went through academic course after another hoping somewhere I'll find it... or fall into it.
When I was 22 I became really ill - hospitalised 3 times over 6 months, operations, dressings, injections, the lot. And as I lay there in a hospital bed watching the world around me I watched the nurse's do stuff - drips and discharging patients, medications and vital signs... I saw all of this and suddenly I felt a huge realisation. I need to be a nurse, I knew in my soul thats what I needed to be doing but my head ran through a million reasons why I couldn't including the fact I don't literally know my arse from my elbow (I dumped Science subjects very quickly at school).
But from this suffering I found part of my destiny. My own experience has fed into my rapport with patients, has helped me learn and aspire something greater than myself in my life. It deeply affects my philosophy and understanding of what is IMPORTANT in life - because every day I see others in that crux moment of life and death and wishing things were different, and I hear their stories, I hold their hand, I hug them whilst they cry as well as wash them and care for them, offer my experience and get doctors to come and see them when they are poorly. I do this work to help the vulnerable and I love it. I would never think of myself as a healer or a great nurse - but I do my bit as a person trying to help out another person.
We are all part of the Divine - we are all brothers and sisters through life, all made of the same star dust as the Gods. Just we forget it all too quickly, we get bogged down in the decisions we think are important, the house, the car, the clothes etc - but every day I get this wonderful privilege of helping others and it always reminds me how precious our time here is, how we shouldn't be focusing on stuff, we should be focusing on Love, on Divine Love and the Goddess/God/whatever Divine Source you connect with.
On the outside people assume I see so much suffering, I don't, I see so much love and I value the fact I get paid every day to see it
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