25 is the day I was born... It is also a very special number to me, my lucky number :-)
Today I pulled my cards this morning and I was again, confused.
To Avoid - 10 of Disks.
The image of the kabbalah here is nothing new to Thoth fans. In the Via we have the initiate holding the image of the kabbalah's tree of life diagram, and above that an initiate performing the Sign of the Enterer.
This is the secret that as in malkuth, so is kether, and that in that wisdom we know we can assess all the power and knowledge and energy of the universe once we attune ourselves to that frequency. The performing of the Sign of the Enterer is how we, the initiates, are able to get our frequency to resonate with that of what we seek - and so we can project, become and work with that energy.
That is part of the spiritual majestic journey of High Magick, the more we work magically with the Kabbalah, perhaps for our own egotistical gains, soon we become changed by the frequencies we invoke and evoke... and grow to be better than the person we were at the beginning of the journey.
All this imagery was amazing - and whilst I love the deep symbolism in this deck - it can be really pigging difficult to put that into a daily, mundane reading. What the hell does that mean in our every day life??
To encourage is the 4 of Disks...
Here, we have the initiate holding up the image of 4 disks in their square formation, and I just instantly see the Thoth's 4 of Disks, of the house in the fortress, protected and strong, yet possibly isolated.
And I see the image of the 4 of Pentacles in the RWS - the king who appears to be miserly and not giving of the coin he has. He holds on to it for security, for his own selfishness...
Well - this is hardly the picture that I want to project into my life today.
So I left my draw this morning with no real understanding what I was being asked to Avoid or Encourage that day....
And then it hit me throughout the day.
I was talking to a colleuge and somehow we got talking about spirituality, life after death etc. She mentioned to me how she used to do lots of courses, learning about healing energies and mediumship, psychic surgery etc. She mentioned a lot of 'buzz words' that people say.... and I felt so elated that there was someone at work who was into the slightly spooky side of life.
However something in me just said - tell her the bare bones, do not divulge everything of who you are and what you do. Say enough to show you have a lot in common, but do not reveal too much, do not let go of all that you are.
I thought that this was actually a rather selfish thing - to hold on and not to share. I am so sure she would be fascinated about the things that I do and have done, learnt and practice. Surely I would have found an 'ally' in the workplace! She shared a lot about her path and I wanted to respect that by sharing mine, and yet my spirit said to hold back, nod, listen and ask questions - do not reveal what is within.
And later, on my walk it hit me. It was my HGA protecting me from myself, as well as protecting me from her.
Whilst it is amazing to share the journey, it is tempting to let yourself be open to everything and anyone slightly the same as you. And yet this is how we became injured by people's prejudices and expectations, misinformation and, more dangerously can be fuel to the fire of any work place issue. So to protect yourself by a fortress (4 of Disks) means you can safely be who you are to the extent that they need to know or you need to share. It is a safe boundary where truths can be intermingled, without losing or deceiving on another.
And yet, it was the greatest secret - in that because I am working (or trying) to work my way towards my destiny, to my HGA, raising my energy and frequency so I can feel, see and be transformed so I resonate on the levels of the spirits I work with (10 of Disks)... and that for that Great Work to continue I need to be in this fortress of protection, of the 'what I share at work' vs 'what I share with my brothers and sisters on the path.'
Just as magicians work within a Magic Circle to protect ourselves and raise our energies to resonate with the frequency we wish to work with and use (and so be transformed by) - in real life our 'outer selves' are our Magic Circle that we walk about in whilst we are shopping, working, entertaining, watching the TV etc so that the Great Work can keep happening within the safety of the Fortress, safety of the Circle and work on the soul within.
It is not selfish - it is necessary.
Interesting revelation.
Sunday, 27 January 2013
Saturday, 26 January 2013
Saturday day something...
Before going off to work this morning I drew my cards.
To avoid - 4 of Cups - Luxury
To encourage - Art.
Well, considering I had been thinking about going on a diet and stuff I took these cards as very very simple.
Do not overindulgence and wonder why on earth you are putting on the lbs (and losing £s because you are buying crap). You should exercise moderation, including knowing that a cheap fix diet pill or 'slim-fast' type plans are no go. You need to eat properly and exercise, moderation.
So... I have done that tonight. No chocolate today, and had a good healthy dinner and even made myself have a good walk after work (whilst the sun was shining!!).
Moderation is a good key-word and I did laugh when I did happen to look over a bottle of 'slim-fast' type stuff in the shop and my mind said 'Put it down now!' based on the cards above lol.
Also, its about looking at why I might be eating, and women are classic culprits for comfort eating. So, rather than being upset and eating chocolate on my own, I have spoken to two old friends on the phone tonight which has really helped lift my spirits as well as avoid the chocolate cravings.
And this evening when browsing through one of my occult books it mentioned the first basic principle of magick - we as magicians need to exercise self-control over our bodies, we are not just the body we inhabit, we are not just the cravings and needs it has (I am hungry, I am craving chocolate, I am tired, I am fat and ugly) etc, we are more than that - and I need to remind myself of that. So, I think of that as a bit of my Art today.
(Last night, rituals performed and today Liber Resh honoured - and see how I 'stick' to things much better when I do these things. Interesting stuff).
To avoid - 4 of Cups - Luxury
To encourage - Art.
Well, considering I had been thinking about going on a diet and stuff I took these cards as very very simple.
Do not overindulgence and wonder why on earth you are putting on the lbs (and losing £s because you are buying crap). You should exercise moderation, including knowing that a cheap fix diet pill or 'slim-fast' type plans are no go. You need to eat properly and exercise, moderation.
So... I have done that tonight. No chocolate today, and had a good healthy dinner and even made myself have a good walk after work (whilst the sun was shining!!).
Moderation is a good key-word and I did laugh when I did happen to look over a bottle of 'slim-fast' type stuff in the shop and my mind said 'Put it down now!' based on the cards above lol.
Also, its about looking at why I might be eating, and women are classic culprits for comfort eating. So, rather than being upset and eating chocolate on my own, I have spoken to two old friends on the phone tonight which has really helped lift my spirits as well as avoid the chocolate cravings.
And this evening when browsing through one of my occult books it mentioned the first basic principle of magick - we as magicians need to exercise self-control over our bodies, we are not just the body we inhabit, we are not just the cravings and needs it has (I am hungry, I am craving chocolate, I am tired, I am fat and ugly) etc, we are more than that - and I need to remind myself of that. So, I think of that as a bit of my Art today.
(Last night, rituals performed and today Liber Resh honoured - and see how I 'stick' to things much better when I do these things. Interesting stuff).
Friday, 25 January 2013
Spiritual Me Time - Does it really make a difference??
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And a thought...
It seems when I actively connect with Spirit each day (through Liber Resh, rituals or meditation, or all of the above - which I call my 'Spiritual Me Time' due to the varying ways I do connect) things seem to 'work' better. My cards are upright, my flow is working and I feel good. Yes I have good days and bad days as I have realised through this time of reflection that I am far more subject to the winds and storms of my emotions and my negative thought patterns.
But when I have something in my day that is for the Gods and my spiritual development I have clarity and I can just put things back into perspective again... in my day its like I feel the guiding help of the cards, of the Divine helping me navigate through my days.
They all say that doing something spiritual is important, it makes you into a better person, it helps you in every part of your life. And I agreed with the principle. But its only due to this opportunity to do the Tarot Life exercise I can really journal and observe my progress and I physically SEE that when I know I haven't been very connected that my cards move away from the centre point of the pillars. I move away from my Destiny. And I see when I do connect and make time to do that, it just steers my self in the right direction.
Also, I have noticed a different between drawing the cards the night before... or drawing them towards the end of the day - and I can see whilst its not always practical to read the night before for me, that it actually gives me something to help my soul steer me that day and when I come to right it up I can really see how even subconsciously I have Avoided and Encouraged the Divine Will from Within and Without.
Its not that crazy an idea - for example if you want to lose weight but do not actively make some time each day to think about what you are eating, what the effects of eating all the chocolate will do to your body - in short if you live your life with yourself closed off, then you are not going to develop and achieve your goals or your destiny. If you do not actively DO something to MAKE TIME for this tender flame of Divine Light in you to shine then it will be shrouded in the shadows.
So its our duty, if we want to meet our destiny, to feed the fire, clean out the lamp and keep it burning.
Over the last few days in my head, meditations and dreams I have been chased by the 3 headed dog of Cerberus, the Hermit's lamp, the torch bearing goddess Hekate and the gates the lead us to the holy temple of fire and ice - of action and stillness. And I can see this reflected in this humble practice of Tarot Life.
And this is just exercise 1 baby!
Today is Friday - Day 23
It is Friday - and today is also my day off :-D
Today is also a strange one. I have that 'spring cleaning' energy going on, I've mopped floors, doing other cleaning - including de-bunking the plug-holes in the bathroom.
Yes - its like spring is trying to get sprung in my little corner of the world.
Today is also a strange one. I have that 'spring cleaning' energy going on, I've mopped floors, doing other cleaning - including de-bunking the plug-holes in the bathroom.
Yes - its like spring is trying to get sprung in my little corner of the world.
Today my cards ask me to Avoid - 8 of Disks.
To encourage is the Princess of Swords.
And right now I am completely stumped at how to interpret these cards.
But I know I like the Princess.... I can easily encourage that in my self today.
On reflection..
Avoid the 8 of Disks - ya know, thinking about how every piece fits in the jigsaw of the Divine Plan. Just for today avoid watching the pennies and how you are going to GET to where you want to be (the Divine Child above).
You do not always need a crazy puritanical work ethic to every part of my life to succeed. Its the journey itself that reaps the rewards, not the amount of 'gold stars' you get on the way.
And Encourage, the Princess, just to be a bit more open, a bit more explorative of Mind and Spirit and don't get caught up in the limitations around me. The Earth and Air part of this personality is one that means the two worlds will always seek to meet, but they can meet in the most bizarre of ways . And even that overview, that openess, that honesty can be an offering to the Gods for the Light within to shine out without filtering it.
To encourage is the Princess of Swords.
And right now I am completely stumped at how to interpret these cards.
But I know I like the Princess.... I can easily encourage that in my self today.
On reflection..
Avoid the 8 of Disks - ya know, thinking about how every piece fits in the jigsaw of the Divine Plan. Just for today avoid watching the pennies and how you are going to GET to where you want to be (the Divine Child above).
You do not always need a crazy puritanical work ethic to every part of my life to succeed. Its the journey itself that reaps the rewards, not the amount of 'gold stars' you get on the way.
And Encourage, the Princess, just to be a bit more open, a bit more explorative of Mind and Spirit and don't get caught up in the limitations around me. The Earth and Air part of this personality is one that means the two worlds will always seek to meet, but they can meet in the most bizarre of ways . And even that overview, that openess, that honesty can be an offering to the Gods for the Light within to shine out without filtering it.
Wednesday and Thursday
Missed two days... No excuse really other than I seemed to just need to take 'time off' from spiritual stuff and introspection and contemplation for a couple of days.
The 'retrospect' cards for this is
Avoid - The Prince of Disks
Hmmm avoid the idea the idea that you are not moving even when you think you are stationary.
The Prince moves slowly like the earth turns. Although we do not realise the pace with how face the earth turns, it spins.
Whilst in the mundane world I might feel stagnant and feel like I should be harsh on myself for not DOING... the Prince says in the eyes of the HGA there is movement and progression like the Sun and the Earth in this time of snow. It feels like this is never going to change lol.
Also - the Prince or the Knight of the Disk I find is a very conservative and 'black and white' type figure, and with his eyes I look at myself and see plenty to be disdainful about.
But I am to avoid that.... which is hard and I probably havent achieved this very well lol.
To encourage - 2 of Disks.
The classic card of balance, of juggling things.
And through that balance you can work out - solve et coagula - the ability to break down and reform in divine glory as I see the gorgeous depiction of Baphomet on this card.
The LWB for the Via says you have to learn to adapt, to let change happen - to not control the things that happen, but just let them go and fall and reform. The world is a stage, play a bit, learn and then adapt. I would like to think I have done this, but not very well lol.
I had a big of a 'revelation' over the last couple of days - and I am surprised that the cards are as they are and not telling me other things. But of course - we are more judgemental and self-critical of ourselves than Spirit ever is. The 2 of Disks says to me, its a small thing, its a small action on the mundane world which you have absorbed and have helped inform yourself of who you are, and what you can be like when faced with the temptation around you.
The 'retrospect' cards for this is
Avoid - The Prince of Disks
Hmmm avoid the idea the idea that you are not moving even when you think you are stationary.
The Prince moves slowly like the earth turns. Although we do not realise the pace with how face the earth turns, it spins.
Whilst in the mundane world I might feel stagnant and feel like I should be harsh on myself for not DOING... the Prince says in the eyes of the HGA there is movement and progression like the Sun and the Earth in this time of snow. It feels like this is never going to change lol.
Also - the Prince or the Knight of the Disk I find is a very conservative and 'black and white' type figure, and with his eyes I look at myself and see plenty to be disdainful about.
But I am to avoid that.... which is hard and I probably havent achieved this very well lol.
To encourage - 2 of Disks.
The classic card of balance, of juggling things.
And through that balance you can work out - solve et coagula - the ability to break down and reform in divine glory as I see the gorgeous depiction of Baphomet on this card.
The LWB for the Via says you have to learn to adapt, to let change happen - to not control the things that happen, but just let them go and fall and reform. The world is a stage, play a bit, learn and then adapt. I would like to think I have done this, but not very well lol.
I had a big of a 'revelation' over the last couple of days - and I am surprised that the cards are as they are and not telling me other things. But of course - we are more judgemental and self-critical of ourselves than Spirit ever is. The 2 of Disks says to me, its a small thing, its a small action on the mundane world which you have absorbed and have helped inform yourself of who you are, and what you can be like when faced with the temptation around you.
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
19 - the Sun on Dinsdag
Today I have drawn two interesting cards (well aren't they all interesting!).
To avoid - Adjustment.
Now, Adjustment is my thing. I was born in the sign of Libra and I have lots of Libra energy in my chart. I am the very best and the very worst of this astrological personality. Adjusting I find important, I find it necessary to always seek balance and to have a logical thought process to balance my heart - to weigh up the pros and cons before moving forward a new path.
And this card is saying no - do not adjust your set, do not give way to the balance of the world around you. You are just fine the way you are.
To encourage - Queen of Swords
Oooh this is a woman I love and I hate.
She has focus and drive, she has the ability to see through the crap and to get to the point, She is Athena and she is like the Crone that cuts the wheat from the chaff at harvest time.
So tomorrow I am to encourage a bit of an intellectual head? To have a focus and pursue it. I am to cut away the bonds of the past, the old outwarn ideas that hold me back and rejoice in the freedom.
Hmmmm interesting.
But how will this be relevant tomorrow? Wait and see...
Update
To avoid - Adjustment.
Now, Adjustment is my thing. I was born in the sign of Libra and I have lots of Libra energy in my chart. I am the very best and the very worst of this astrological personality. Adjusting I find important, I find it necessary to always seek balance and to have a logical thought process to balance my heart - to weigh up the pros and cons before moving forward a new path.
And this card is saying no - do not adjust your set, do not give way to the balance of the world around you. You are just fine the way you are.
To encourage - Queen of Swords
Oooh this is a woman I love and I hate.
She has focus and drive, she has the ability to see through the crap and to get to the point, She is Athena and she is like the Crone that cuts the wheat from the chaff at harvest time.
So tomorrow I am to encourage a bit of an intellectual head? To have a focus and pursue it. I am to cut away the bonds of the past, the old outwarn ideas that hold me back and rejoice in the freedom.
Hmmmm interesting.
But how will this be relevant tomorrow? Wait and see...
Update
One thing that has been in the back of my head last night and today is this -
Aren't Justice and the Queen of Swords the same cards in essence.
Justice is a card of 'Greater Justice' of the overall important lesson of balance, or rather in Crowley and in the Via's deck the idea of Adjustment. There is no constant in the Universe other than change and so to keep in the centre, to be Truth, means that you have to move. Nothing in life is absolute - not even the law is black and white because it is constantly evolving (although grated slowly). Even something like the Catholic church does change and evolve, although to make sure it is changing in the ways of God and not with fashion and the fads it takes change very slowly, with lots and lots of deliberation and time in between to reflect and pray with God for the Truth to be revealed. Yes ok this view point is very 'rose tinted' but you have to respect that it will not change due to pressure from the outside - it wants to change in line with God.
Anyways..... Adjustment is a greater process... it is about deep honest truth that is within, about Divine truth and how these ideals do change over time. It can seem impersonal though, it can seem harsh. There is no negotiation - you are weighed and you are sorted.
And yet, the Queen of Swords to me has always been on the outside the 'Justice' card of the courts.
She is detached, observant and she is patient and waits. She is Balanced between her head and her heart - and she, like Justice has the sword of truth and when necessary the sword to cut away that which is left wanting.
But there is a difference. The Queen of Swords is a person, a being, someone who can step back and look, who can be 'academic' and leave the emotions to one side, to wake up, smell the coffee and say what is really going on.
And I guess this is what I was asked to be today - not to be dealing with Truths or even Justice or trying to feel balanced - what I was being asked today was to be more Head than Heart or crazy paranoid and self-deprecating (for a change) and to step back and smell the coffee.
I also see this Queen as someone who can voice her thoughts to those who are ready to hear it, who are willing to hear it. Some might see this Queen as being the ultimate 'networker' although not always the one you want to talk to because she will tell you what she thinks.
On a very humorous note - I was considering to rejoin Slimming World tonight, but I didnt. And now I can see Maat looking at me from the cards saying DONT GET WEIGHED and the Queen of Swords nodding sagely going 'yeah, you are a bright woman, you have done it before, you know you need to eat better and exercise more, getting into the misery of a slimming group is just not a good idea right now. You only have 4 lbs to lose, slimming world is not effective for that'
And I also have peeled back a layer of a possible tarot related project.... due to hitting some tarot books tonight.
I love the Queen of Swords :D I need to embrace her energy more.
Day 18 - Moon's day.
Hehehe, Its day 18 - 18 of the Moon card, and its Monday or Moon's Day.
Yes, I am a bit crazy. I am also feeling really tuned in, fired up and stuff is COOKING on gas spiritual-wise for me at the moment. I feel like my spirit is doing a lot of the 'middle bit'. Ya know when you make a cake and you get all the ingredients together and know that its all going to turn into a cake... and you start beating the eggs and doing stuff and mixing in flour and sugar and butter (wow, I am even impressing myself with how much culinary knowledge I seem to have in my brain!) and you mash it all up. You are like YEAH this is going to be a cake.
Then you put it in the oven and you are looking at it through the glass door thinking 'is it ready?' 'is it burnt?' 'did I put too much sugar or butter in it?' 'The book said to take it out now but I'm not sure'.
Well I feel like I'm in that space. I am doing all this stuff and its all in the mixture and Spirit is cooking me. Only I don't really know what into.
The hardest lesson I am learning, is not to worry. If I am being cooked by Spirit, then I can only come out just as Spirit intended if I let go of expectation and my own ego based desires, and surrender my divine will to the love of Spirit. Love is the Law, Love under Will.
Yep - I am surprising myself too.
Anyhoo, back to the Paths.
To avoid - 8 of Wands.
This card is one of fast movement and energy, of messages and activity in the Rider Waite.
In the Via book the 8 of wands is a card of swift action, swift anger and swift forgiveness. This is card that talks of doing things fast and furious. But there is also an element of putting the jigsaw together in this card, of seeing how everything has to fit together and instantly be understood, have the a-ha moment and see how it all works in the Matrix of the universe.
But this is all to avoid.
To encourage is the 3 of Wands,
Now this is a card of excitement and potential. This is a card that shows how energy has gone from being a spark, to a bit of plan to actually trying to manifest things. The figure in this card is like someone performing Liber Resh at Noon, doing the triangle of manifestation and pouring that energy within him. The Ram, the little yods everywhere, shows potential and action that is becoming form and real. Almost watching magick become reality.
Well thats a nice thing to encourage today!
What I have actually done today is interesting...
I have eaten a load of FROGS of jobs I have been planning to do for months (literally, 8 months in the case of getting registered with the local doctors (yes I know, I should know better!)) and have always said I will do but never done. Today, without having a real plan before hand I just seemed to feel the urge to get all these frogs eaten and DONE. I have manifested plans that are 8 months old. Go me!
And I think the 8 of wands vs the 3 shows different sides of the same energy.
I am a person who likes to think about what this is, what happens now, what happens next. I am always thinking two steps ahead. Its why I'm rubbish at making cakes because whilst I'm collecting the ingredients together I am really thinking about how rubbish the cake will be. I do not live in a zen-like ever present mind, and I do constantly think about the jigsaw.
But today, I just did stuff that needed to be done without worrying about what it meant (i.e. if I register at the local doctors its a real real sign I am planning on staying here). Its been needing to be done, and its done, huzzah :D
Of course I do have issues with the 'how is this all going to fit in the jigsaw' especially my meditation this evening, but I am trying to give over to Spirit some more. I am trying to realise Spirit is making a cake out of me, and if I just let Spirit guide me then I shall be one AWESOME cake.
Zen. ( Well actually, the summary of this blog post should be, if Thelema made cakes out of Frogs, they would be the best cakes in the world, the cakes that cakes always were meant to be, not the crazy cakes Heston Bulmenthal thinks cakes should be)
Yes, I am a bit crazy. I am also feeling really tuned in, fired up and stuff is COOKING on gas spiritual-wise for me at the moment. I feel like my spirit is doing a lot of the 'middle bit'. Ya know when you make a cake and you get all the ingredients together and know that its all going to turn into a cake... and you start beating the eggs and doing stuff and mixing in flour and sugar and butter (wow, I am even impressing myself with how much culinary knowledge I seem to have in my brain!) and you mash it all up. You are like YEAH this is going to be a cake.
Then you put it in the oven and you are looking at it through the glass door thinking 'is it ready?' 'is it burnt?' 'did I put too much sugar or butter in it?' 'The book said to take it out now but I'm not sure'.
Well I feel like I'm in that space. I am doing all this stuff and its all in the mixture and Spirit is cooking me. Only I don't really know what into.
The hardest lesson I am learning, is not to worry. If I am being cooked by Spirit, then I can only come out just as Spirit intended if I let go of expectation and my own ego based desires, and surrender my divine will to the love of Spirit. Love is the Law, Love under Will.
Yep - I am surprising myself too.
Anyhoo, back to the Paths.
To avoid - 8 of Wands.
This card is one of fast movement and energy, of messages and activity in the Rider Waite.
In the Via book the 8 of wands is a card of swift action, swift anger and swift forgiveness. This is card that talks of doing things fast and furious. But there is also an element of putting the jigsaw together in this card, of seeing how everything has to fit together and instantly be understood, have the a-ha moment and see how it all works in the Matrix of the universe.
But this is all to avoid.
To encourage is the 3 of Wands,
Now this is a card of excitement and potential. This is a card that shows how energy has gone from being a spark, to a bit of plan to actually trying to manifest things. The figure in this card is like someone performing Liber Resh at Noon, doing the triangle of manifestation and pouring that energy within him. The Ram, the little yods everywhere, shows potential and action that is becoming form and real. Almost watching magick become reality.
Well thats a nice thing to encourage today!
What I have actually done today is interesting...
I have eaten a load of FROGS of jobs I have been planning to do for months (literally, 8 months in the case of getting registered with the local doctors (yes I know, I should know better!)) and have always said I will do but never done. Today, without having a real plan before hand I just seemed to feel the urge to get all these frogs eaten and DONE. I have manifested plans that are 8 months old. Go me!
And I think the 8 of wands vs the 3 shows different sides of the same energy.
I am a person who likes to think about what this is, what happens now, what happens next. I am always thinking two steps ahead. Its why I'm rubbish at making cakes because whilst I'm collecting the ingredients together I am really thinking about how rubbish the cake will be. I do not live in a zen-like ever present mind, and I do constantly think about the jigsaw.
But today, I just did stuff that needed to be done without worrying about what it meant (i.e. if I register at the local doctors its a real real sign I am planning on staying here). Its been needing to be done, and its done, huzzah :D
Of course I do have issues with the 'how is this all going to fit in the jigsaw' especially my meditation this evening, but I am trying to give over to Spirit some more. I am trying to realise Spirit is making a cake out of me, and if I just let Spirit guide me then I shall be one AWESOME cake.
Zen. ( Well actually, the summary of this blog post should be, if Thelema made cakes out of Frogs, they would be the best cakes in the world, the cakes that cakes always were meant to be, not the crazy cakes Heston Bulmenthal thinks cakes should be)
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Day 17 Sunday.
Looking ahead to tomorrow I can see...
to avoid the 6 of Wands.
I'm assuming that this will become evident during the day.
Perhaps it is to not get too cocky with 'success' - that perhaps I might feel better tomorrow and decide to do all sorts of things because I am better and actually make myself ill again. Hmmmm - to focus on.
To Encourage - Lust
Lust, something in life that we are told not to have, but I always see the Lust card is when you know you are doing something that makes your spirit sour for a moment. I have been one of those dancing maidens, lost in the rhythm, in the vibration of the drums, in the flames that seem to possess you - and in those moments I have felt free in that abandon, free in that moment when I feel ALIVE.
Tomorrow, I am encouraged to do something that makes me feel alive, that my spirit is telling me it desperately needs, that deep attraction between Spirit and spirit and how to make it dance its dance. In Wicca a lot of the time we talk about 'sex' energy... what we really talking about is this heat, this chemistry of what our souls want and the Gods that give it to us and together we make it manifest. It pleases both for it to happen, but it is a game, it is a push and pull of energy that needs to meet in unity. Like the couple that meets in a bar who has instant chemistry - it is not how quick we get to the end game that gives the biggest bang, but knowing how to play the game and pick the right moment.
Hmmm interesting.
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So, today (sunday) whilst contemplating the Lust card, I thought I would do a tarot reading based on a spread that Donald Kraig gives in his Modern Magick book.
Card 1 - Lovers
Over the last few weeks I have fallen in love with my path and my spiritual practice and what it does for me and gives me. I guess I havent realised that whilst I have been doing things I have been in a bit of a 'dry spell' and that is due to a lot of factors. What the Lovers is telling me is that I've got things on track - there is chemistry, there is magick happening.
Card 2 - (which has a stronger spiritual influence than card 1) is Aeon or Judgement
This is the rebirthing I know I have been and I am undergoing, I know this is part of the work - the dry spell, the feelings it brings up to the surface (all that ick that I repress and bury) comes up and has destroyed me, and hopefully rebuilding.
I take to heart sincerely the Child Horus in the Sign of Silence. This is something I need to focus on, that beauty that comes from within, the Silence is needed to feel, to know, to understand - and when the dark thoughts come again, to sit in the sign of silence and let them wash over me, to observe them.
Rebirthing into what I dont know, but it has and is a very interesting process.
Card 3 is the Spiritual Advice and that is Lust!
That is to keep going with the dance, with what is happening. That is to do the rituals and habits that have brought you to this point, that is to poke the Lion and see the reaction. At the moment I am in a deep LOVE phase and it all consumes me. This is good, go with it, do things that enhance this feeling - have the strength to GO FOR IT.
Do not hold back.
Card 4 - Unconscious desires I bring to this point - the Empress.
Now, either this is my unconscious being the Empress, the Mother figure who wants to encourage me to grow and develop - which is either my HGA/HigherSelf or Goddess.
This could be the work of people I work with who are unconsciously influencing me to do this (which may or may not be true).
This could be that I need to cultivate more in my spiritual journey, realise that I need to get something NEW in there to inspire me but in a natural process (like these Tarot Life exercises).
Card 5 - Conscious Desires I bring to this point - Art
I want to keep on with this and to marry, to meet up, to synthesis this information together. This is not easy for me because I can be obsessive, I don't synthesis I just focus on the one thing and sod the rest. This card reminds me to be balanced, to bring my magical life and my mundane life together into a moderation, into a balance which is healthy, workable. I think I had been too weighed down before by the mundane world previously.
Card 6 - Practical Advice - The Moon.
This is process, some days it will be good, sometimes it will be hard, sometimes there will be nothing. Spiritual journeys are one of wax and wane, but the important thing to remember is the Light Within, that things take time to germinate and grow.
Also, the Moon card might be asking me to literally, practically, work with Moon energy too to balance the Liber Resh stuff I am doing a lot of as well.
There is more to uncover when the time is right, let the Dance happen to its own beat (like the Lust card of the Via) and get lose in the fast and in the slow rhythms. The world is of light and shade, no day in spiritual work is the same as yesterday.
Card 7 - The final outcome - Hermit
This card for the last few years and come up in any spiritual reading I have done.
I am the Hermit, always working away doing something for my development, I am looking within to find the 6 rayed Star... looking without to find inspiration to get it, but actually I just need to focus within and do what I need to do.
The Hermit reminds me that my journey, no matter who I walk with and what groups I work in, is my own. We are all hermits, we all walk alone but its nice to know there are friends in the darkness around us. That despite all the teachings, books, exercises - it is only ourselves that can find the Star light within, and let it shine, only us that can cultivate it, explore it, introvertly and quietly DOING my spiritual development.
And that is the dance I love, the dance I have played with today and has given me the fizzle back into my step :D Every man and woman is a Star :D
(oh and I avoided feeling I had beaten this stupid cold, I havent and whilst I probably could go back to work tomorrow and suffer for it majorly, I have taken the wise decision to wait one more day, until I am fighting fit to return to work, and not spreading my germs everywhere! 6 of Wands avoided, awesome!)
to avoid the 6 of Wands.
I'm assuming that this will become evident during the day.
Perhaps it is to not get too cocky with 'success' - that perhaps I might feel better tomorrow and decide to do all sorts of things because I am better and actually make myself ill again. Hmmmm - to focus on.
To Encourage - Lust
Lust, something in life that we are told not to have, but I always see the Lust card is when you know you are doing something that makes your spirit sour for a moment. I have been one of those dancing maidens, lost in the rhythm, in the vibration of the drums, in the flames that seem to possess you - and in those moments I have felt free in that abandon, free in that moment when I feel ALIVE.
Tomorrow, I am encouraged to do something that makes me feel alive, that my spirit is telling me it desperately needs, that deep attraction between Spirit and spirit and how to make it dance its dance. In Wicca a lot of the time we talk about 'sex' energy... what we really talking about is this heat, this chemistry of what our souls want and the Gods that give it to us and together we make it manifest. It pleases both for it to happen, but it is a game, it is a push and pull of energy that needs to meet in unity. Like the couple that meets in a bar who has instant chemistry - it is not how quick we get to the end game that gives the biggest bang, but knowing how to play the game and pick the right moment.
Hmmm interesting.
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So, today (sunday) whilst contemplating the Lust card, I thought I would do a tarot reading based on a spread that Donald Kraig gives in his Modern Magick book.
Card 1 - Lovers
Over the last few weeks I have fallen in love with my path and my spiritual practice and what it does for me and gives me. I guess I havent realised that whilst I have been doing things I have been in a bit of a 'dry spell' and that is due to a lot of factors. What the Lovers is telling me is that I've got things on track - there is chemistry, there is magick happening.
Card 2 - (which has a stronger spiritual influence than card 1) is Aeon or Judgement
This is the rebirthing I know I have been and I am undergoing, I know this is part of the work - the dry spell, the feelings it brings up to the surface (all that ick that I repress and bury) comes up and has destroyed me, and hopefully rebuilding.
I take to heart sincerely the Child Horus in the Sign of Silence. This is something I need to focus on, that beauty that comes from within, the Silence is needed to feel, to know, to understand - and when the dark thoughts come again, to sit in the sign of silence and let them wash over me, to observe them.
Rebirthing into what I dont know, but it has and is a very interesting process.
Card 3 is the Spiritual Advice and that is Lust!
That is to keep going with the dance, with what is happening. That is to do the rituals and habits that have brought you to this point, that is to poke the Lion and see the reaction. At the moment I am in a deep LOVE phase and it all consumes me. This is good, go with it, do things that enhance this feeling - have the strength to GO FOR IT.
Do not hold back.
Card 4 - Unconscious desires I bring to this point - the Empress.
Now, either this is my unconscious being the Empress, the Mother figure who wants to encourage me to grow and develop - which is either my HGA/HigherSelf or Goddess.
This could be the work of people I work with who are unconsciously influencing me to do this (which may or may not be true).
This could be that I need to cultivate more in my spiritual journey, realise that I need to get something NEW in there to inspire me but in a natural process (like these Tarot Life exercises).
Card 5 - Conscious Desires I bring to this point - Art
I want to keep on with this and to marry, to meet up, to synthesis this information together. This is not easy for me because I can be obsessive, I don't synthesis I just focus on the one thing and sod the rest. This card reminds me to be balanced, to bring my magical life and my mundane life together into a moderation, into a balance which is healthy, workable. I think I had been too weighed down before by the mundane world previously.
Card 6 - Practical Advice - The Moon.
This is process, some days it will be good, sometimes it will be hard, sometimes there will be nothing. Spiritual journeys are one of wax and wane, but the important thing to remember is the Light Within, that things take time to germinate and grow.
Also, the Moon card might be asking me to literally, practically, work with Moon energy too to balance the Liber Resh stuff I am doing a lot of as well.
There is more to uncover when the time is right, let the Dance happen to its own beat (like the Lust card of the Via) and get lose in the fast and in the slow rhythms. The world is of light and shade, no day in spiritual work is the same as yesterday.
Card 7 - The final outcome - Hermit
This card for the last few years and come up in any spiritual reading I have done.
I am the Hermit, always working away doing something for my development, I am looking within to find the 6 rayed Star... looking without to find inspiration to get it, but actually I just need to focus within and do what I need to do.
The Hermit reminds me that my journey, no matter who I walk with and what groups I work in, is my own. We are all hermits, we all walk alone but its nice to know there are friends in the darkness around us. That despite all the teachings, books, exercises - it is only ourselves that can find the Star light within, and let it shine, only us that can cultivate it, explore it, introvertly and quietly DOING my spiritual development.
And that is the dance I love, the dance I have played with today and has given me the fizzle back into my step :D Every man and woman is a Star :D
(oh and I avoided feeling I had beaten this stupid cold, I havent and whilst I probably could go back to work tomorrow and suffer for it majorly, I have taken the wise decision to wait one more day, until I am fighting fit to return to work, and not spreading my germs everywhere! 6 of Wands avoided, awesome!)
Saturday Day 16
Written at the end of the day rather than before the day...
I drew
To avoid - Queen of Disks
Ah the queen that likes to have the fine things, who whilst being mothering and caring, the earth mother, can also be the materialistic mother who likes stuff.
This is warning today for me to not get caught up wanting STUFF, or rather to remember that physical stuff is just an illusion, an attachment that is of no importance for the ego to be distracted by.
I have been looking and lusting for tarot decks way beyond my price range today and whilst beautiful and something I can really appreciate - it's not going to teach me any more about tarot in itself. Deck collecting does not bring tarot wisdom, but more than not, brings me indecision LOL.
To Encourage - Death
Ah this current phase I am going through.
Today I have been more accepting, breathing it in and letting it flow. I am trying not to panic about how things have changed, I am realising that death and separation is part of the process, that like a snake sheds its skin our Spirit needs to do this every once in a while to make it fit all the process we have made on the journey so far.
Again, don't think, dont analyse, just breath and accept the present and it will hurt less. You know what happens is through the grace of the Goddess (2 of Swords) if you just stop fighting and stop thinking and stop overwhelming myself with the wrong stuff - focus, breath, inflame myself with prayer. There is the key.
Over the last few days I have been adding Liber Resh into my daily routine again - and I have to say it is helping me no end to keep focused on the Work and learning what is important and what is a distraction around me.
I drew
To avoid - Queen of Disks
Ah the queen that likes to have the fine things, who whilst being mothering and caring, the earth mother, can also be the materialistic mother who likes stuff.
This is warning today for me to not get caught up wanting STUFF, or rather to remember that physical stuff is just an illusion, an attachment that is of no importance for the ego to be distracted by.
I have been looking and lusting for tarot decks way beyond my price range today and whilst beautiful and something I can really appreciate - it's not going to teach me any more about tarot in itself. Deck collecting does not bring tarot wisdom, but more than not, brings me indecision LOL.
To Encourage - Death
Ah this current phase I am going through.
Today I have been more accepting, breathing it in and letting it flow. I am trying not to panic about how things have changed, I am realising that death and separation is part of the process, that like a snake sheds its skin our Spirit needs to do this every once in a while to make it fit all the process we have made on the journey so far.
Again, don't think, dont analyse, just breath and accept the present and it will hurt less. You know what happens is through the grace of the Goddess (2 of Swords) if you just stop fighting and stop thinking and stop overwhelming myself with the wrong stuff - focus, breath, inflame myself with prayer. There is the key.
Over the last few days I have been adding Liber Resh into my daily routine again - and I have to say it is helping me no end to keep focused on the Work and learning what is important and what is a distraction around me.
Friday Day 15
well this is written in retrospect, because the early hours of Friday morning I
a) began to hit the wall with this cold I have been fighting off for a few weeks now
b) had a massive Dark Night of the Soul event and it really really wobbled me.
The cards I have drawn for that time in retrospect was...
Avoid the Ace of Cups to meet your destiny.
Being overwhelmed by the emotion. Sit with it, let it out, let the tears and the snot come out, but do not become attached to them. Let it flow, let it got through its process, do not try to stop it or hold it in because there is Wisdom in it. Also, do not wallow in it, else the Wisdom will drown in the self-pity.
Also, there is a warning here to not start anything. And I feel here is really true that when I feel really low I try to find something 'new' to do to take my mind off it, to distract me and this card is saying to AVOID that.
And whilst I didnt join something or spend lots of money buying something stupid, I did look, explore and realise that no where or thing is going to make me feel better, only me, only my spirit can do that.
There is nothing NEW that can fix this feeling, it is not meant to be FIXED or changed or moved or run away from, you can't wish yourself out of it - you just have to sit and let it flow.
To encourage - the 3 of Cups to meet your destiny.
After the evil moments in the early hours of Friday where I felt so ill and so overwhelmed by everything, I did something I rarely ever do.
I told someone about how I was feeling, and how it all fits together to make me perspective my life to be one big miserable mess. Of course, it isn't, its just my ego kicking and screaming as it does it last death speech on the play that is my spiritual journey.
Telling me people gave me a)support, b)love and kindness c)and stopped the over dramatic depressive side from really overwhelming me because I have people that care, and your demons cant tell you you are unloved if people are telling you at that moment you are.
And in talking about it, it flowed and with perspective and it felt good.
So together I am to let it flow, avoid being overwhelmed, and repressing it, but just let it flow with the people you love who can help you on that process. The 2 of Swords is saying not to repress, but to just sit and connect with spirit. I would like to think I was able to do that after the first panic.
Isnt it interesting when your body picks to be too ill to go to work, to full of cold/fluy symptoms and even being deaf in one ear so that you really listen to the wisdom hitting you in the face lol.
a) began to hit the wall with this cold I have been fighting off for a few weeks now
b) had a massive Dark Night of the Soul event and it really really wobbled me.
The cards I have drawn for that time in retrospect was...
Avoid the Ace of Cups to meet your destiny.
Being overwhelmed by the emotion. Sit with it, let it out, let the tears and the snot come out, but do not become attached to them. Let it flow, let it got through its process, do not try to stop it or hold it in because there is Wisdom in it. Also, do not wallow in it, else the Wisdom will drown in the self-pity.
Also, there is a warning here to not start anything. And I feel here is really true that when I feel really low I try to find something 'new' to do to take my mind off it, to distract me and this card is saying to AVOID that.
And whilst I didnt join something or spend lots of money buying something stupid, I did look, explore and realise that no where or thing is going to make me feel better, only me, only my spirit can do that.
There is nothing NEW that can fix this feeling, it is not meant to be FIXED or changed or moved or run away from, you can't wish yourself out of it - you just have to sit and let it flow.
To encourage - the 3 of Cups to meet your destiny.
After the evil moments in the early hours of Friday where I felt so ill and so overwhelmed by everything, I did something I rarely ever do.
I told someone about how I was feeling, and how it all fits together to make me perspective my life to be one big miserable mess. Of course, it isn't, its just my ego kicking and screaming as it does it last death speech on the play that is my spiritual journey.
Telling me people gave me a)support, b)love and kindness c)and stopped the over dramatic depressive side from really overwhelming me because I have people that care, and your demons cant tell you you are unloved if people are telling you at that moment you are.
And in talking about it, it flowed and with perspective and it felt good.
So together I am to let it flow, avoid being overwhelmed, and repressing it, but just let it flow with the people you love who can help you on that process. The 2 of Swords is saying not to repress, but to just sit and connect with spirit. I would like to think I was able to do that after the first panic.
Isnt it interesting when your body picks to be too ill to go to work, to full of cold/fluy symptoms and even being deaf in one ear so that you really listen to the wisdom hitting you in the face lol.
Thursday, 17 January 2013
Day 14 Donderdag
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Before going to work and shuffling my cards I have a real strong presence of the Kabbalah in the pillars.
The Left is the pillar of Severity - of Geburah's discipline, of what we can try to burn out, remove to help us.. to have impulse is nothing without form. And I think looking at my pillar I have a lot of impulses which can be bad for me i.e. lack of mental discipline means my mind gets anxious and full of sadness I can't lift, lack of communication means I get into a real pickle, and being easily defensive means I very easily get on the offensive and I am my own worst enemy in things.
Yesterday I drew the Princess of Wands, and I found that keeping that instinct to claw away or at someone for safety in check was a good thing. Today I have the Queen of Wands, which suggests that today I need to keep in check my natural Wands nature of being open, being alive and free. There is a key here that today to be guarded and not all 'sexy feline' as this card always talks to me about, is a good idea. Something small may kick me off... and I go into fiery rant, into pissed off mode, and that makes me emotional and stressed.
And the Right, the pillar of Mercy, of Chesed's generosity and love, what is within me to encourage, what opportunity to seize and make the best of... and here in my pillar so far is a lot of spiritual wisdom that I just need to take on board more. That I am getting this through the process of this exercise day by day through the beauty of Spirit.
Today I have drawn 7 of Swords, a card that I can see a lot of here...
Yes you might feel that everyone is demanding your attention, and this attention and 'wantedness' can kick off the Queen of Wands reaction (I am awesome and amazing, I am all powerful, and now I am all stressed and annoyed and I throw my toys out of the plan when things do not work my way).
Here we have the central sword of justice, that is balanced between all these demands and becomes a rose for the delicate flower, for the soul, for the journey to move forward.
Today my cards are telling me not to get distracted by the ego, and by the demands of the day - but to just focus on being centred and in my own Middle Pillar, and the rest will flow as it is meant to.
Kind of Zen for the tarot eh?
Updated
I was not the Queen, the all powerful, the one that is not bothered. I did well to not put on a brave face.
The 7 of Swords is a strange card. Why encourage Lord of Futility - of being overwhelmed, of being depressed and despondent (words from the Via tarot's book).
Because in facing up to those things, rather than putting on the Queen of Wands brave face - we actually feel things... and can let them flow. What is important it so not OWN the feelings, but to just observe them.
I am lonely should be I feel lonely - why - what does this mean - what is the truth underneath this...
Was important for me, to remain balanced when the knives started to carve their pound of flesh and whilst it first was painful, it was actually the removal of emotional cancers to find the truth within.
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Sort of mid way point analysis..
Thinking a bit of a review will be good.
Left Side...total (angled and upright)
Wands... 2 (1 and 1)
Cups .....3 (1 and 2)
Swords 3 (1 and 2)
Pentacles 0
Majors 3 (1 and 2)
Wands... 2 (1 and 1)
Cups .....3 (1 and 2)
Swords 3 (1 and 2)
Pentacles 0
Majors 3 (1 and 2)
The Right .. total (angled and upright)
Wands... 2 (1 and 1)
Wands... 2 (1 and 1)
Cups...1 (1 and 0)
Swords....2 ( 0 and 2)
Pentacles... 2 (1 and 1)
Majors ....4 (1 and 3)
Hmmm so.. Left side is more on the balance of emotions and the mind - and I have had lots of issues to try and balance those out. And looking at the numbers I am appearing to be not as bad at it than I would like to think I am.
Right side - I have lots of Majors which are helping me and encouraging me to change my perceptions, which isnt odd when you think about it. The minors are like little tweaks.
Maybe I need to not give myself such a hard time about 'not achieving' - but thats the Sword and Cups - the inferiority and being my own oversensitive worst enemy. When I balance those out (with some Major card tweaks) I seem to get back into balance.
Swords....2 ( 0 and 2)
Pentacles... 2 (1 and 1)
Majors ....4 (1 and 3)
Hmmm so.. Left side is more on the balance of emotions and the mind - and I have had lots of issues to try and balance those out. And looking at the numbers I am appearing to be not as bad at it than I would like to think I am.
Right side - I have lots of Majors which are helping me and encouraging me to change my perceptions, which isnt odd when you think about it. The minors are like little tweaks.
Maybe I need to not give myself such a hard time about 'not achieving' - but thats the Sword and Cups - the inferiority and being my own oversensitive worst enemy. When I balance those out (with some Major card tweaks) I seem to get back into balance.
Which isnt surprising when my Destiny card is the 2 of Swords... balance thought and emotion to achieve Divine Will.
Day 13 - Woensday..
Yep I am very much staying in my attempting to practice my Flemish vein...
And for today I happened to draw ...
To Avoid - Princess of Wands..
The ego, the flash I am AMAZING, the big show off.... and the big pretender.
Rather than rushing in with 2 feet (which although isnt a bad thing, just not today) one should perhaps...
Encourage - King of Swords.
To be a bit more level-headed, to be logical and professional and practical. To be safely in the sphere of walking carefully and not pre-judging the minute of what is to happen.
The King of Swords is forming things, is creating new opportunities, but from calculated things, from clear communication, and being able to perhaps express things better than before.
I was surprised when I saw this couple in these positions... I have always thought it is better to be a 'gun ho' sort of person. The people who I admire are the wands types - the brave, the slightly louder spoken, the ones that feel the fear and do it anyway.
And yet here it is in the avoid position.
And instead there is this King of Swords, logical, clear communicator speaking about professionalism and the face that does not give away your true feelings, the mask sometimes we need to wear to protect ourselves, our intentions and even to make new grounds.
Today I had an appraisal with my boss - something I knew was potentially coming up but she has been saying it for the last few weeks and its not happened. And then today it happened. And I thought 'Ok, brave, be the brave lion, the most awesome, the most amazing..' the Princess of Wands, but actually, in the office I felt myself becoming the King of Swords. I was in what I call 'interview mode' where you say things clearly and precise and say how you are aware of your limitations and how to move forward etc etc... we talked about how I am progressing as a professional, and how I need to get out of the 'lets not be scared of the boss - lets COMMUNICATE better' and we even talked about ways to overcome that obstacle so we can communicate better.
So... I feel together we had a King of Swords moment.
And then I had the discipline to go food shopping before going home and falling asleep on the sofa and feeling miserable and hungry without food in the cupboards. And even... planning on my meditation tonight after a talk with my friend and a meditation.
I am King Professional, organised and clear.... I feel awesome. I need more days of THIS rather than emotional ARGH like I have had over the last week.
And for today I happened to draw ...
To Avoid - Princess of Wands..
The ego, the flash I am AMAZING, the big show off.... and the big pretender.
Rather than rushing in with 2 feet (which although isnt a bad thing, just not today) one should perhaps...
Encourage - King of Swords.
To be a bit more level-headed, to be logical and professional and practical. To be safely in the sphere of walking carefully and not pre-judging the minute of what is to happen.
The King of Swords is forming things, is creating new opportunities, but from calculated things, from clear communication, and being able to perhaps express things better than before.
I was surprised when I saw this couple in these positions... I have always thought it is better to be a 'gun ho' sort of person. The people who I admire are the wands types - the brave, the slightly louder spoken, the ones that feel the fear and do it anyway.
And yet here it is in the avoid position.
And instead there is this King of Swords, logical, clear communicator speaking about professionalism and the face that does not give away your true feelings, the mask sometimes we need to wear to protect ourselves, our intentions and even to make new grounds.
Today I had an appraisal with my boss - something I knew was potentially coming up but she has been saying it for the last few weeks and its not happened. And then today it happened. And I thought 'Ok, brave, be the brave lion, the most awesome, the most amazing..' the Princess of Wands, but actually, in the office I felt myself becoming the King of Swords. I was in what I call 'interview mode' where you say things clearly and precise and say how you are aware of your limitations and how to move forward etc etc... we talked about how I am progressing as a professional, and how I need to get out of the 'lets not be scared of the boss - lets COMMUNICATE better' and we even talked about ways to overcome that obstacle so we can communicate better.
So... I feel together we had a King of Swords moment.
And then I had the discipline to go food shopping before going home and falling asleep on the sofa and feeling miserable and hungry without food in the cupboards. And even... planning on my meditation tonight after a talk with my friend and a meditation.
I am King Professional, organised and clear.... I feel awesome. I need more days of THIS rather than emotional ARGH like I have had over the last week.
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Day 12 - Dinsdag
So, here we go again and today I have
Avoid - The Fool
hmmmm this morning I woke up very low again, and I just want to escape from everything and go back to Belgium. There was a moment yesterday at work when I was in peak melt down I just wanted to leave work, pack a bag and go and not come back....
and the Fool is saying - avoid being a romantic stupid plonker. You can't run away and expect everything to be perfect, you can't just force new beginnings they have to be done TOGETHER and with Divine Will of the right time. You can't run away from these feelings, so you just have to ride them.
Encourage - 10 of Swords.
That yes I feel shit... but I know what I want and where I want to be in my life for the first time ever. I actually have an ideal future of things rather than a 'oh see where the wind takes me' attitude.
This is a new shift, and needs time to process, but that doesnt happen by wrapping the dark clouds around you NO you have to try to smash through the things that make you feel like crap, and get to the other side to change your life, to the sun behind the clouds... its a process.
And my LBRP was amazing today, and I really connected with the archangels and the Kerebim making their presence felt by me becoming the magical weapons and so I feel the transformative nature of their being with the blessing of the Divine.
If I keep my sight on the Divine Will - then I can break through the shit feelings and into the actual point of it all. Break the obstacles with the Divine Will, rather than moping about them and having emo moments.
Cheers Tarot, I needed this slap in the face of reality lol.
Avoid - The Fool
hmmmm this morning I woke up very low again, and I just want to escape from everything and go back to Belgium. There was a moment yesterday at work when I was in peak melt down I just wanted to leave work, pack a bag and go and not come back....
and the Fool is saying - avoid being a romantic stupid plonker. You can't run away and expect everything to be perfect, you can't just force new beginnings they have to be done TOGETHER and with Divine Will of the right time. You can't run away from these feelings, so you just have to ride them.
Encourage - 10 of Swords.
That yes I feel shit... but I know what I want and where I want to be in my life for the first time ever. I actually have an ideal future of things rather than a 'oh see where the wind takes me' attitude.
This is a new shift, and needs time to process, but that doesnt happen by wrapping the dark clouds around you NO you have to try to smash through the things that make you feel like crap, and get to the other side to change your life, to the sun behind the clouds... its a process.
And my LBRP was amazing today, and I really connected with the archangels and the Kerebim making their presence felt by me becoming the magical weapons and so I feel the transformative nature of their being with the blessing of the Divine.
If I keep my sight on the Divine Will - then I can break through the shit feelings and into the actual point of it all. Break the obstacles with the Divine Will, rather than moping about them and having emo moments.
Cheers Tarot, I needed this slap in the face of reality lol.
Monday, 14 January 2013
Belgium catch up...
So... it was optimistic to think that I would be able to keep doing this practice when I was on holiday. I was so busy with site seeing, with the boyfriend and his family etc - basically having far too much fun to worry about Tarot Life hehehe.
I did hope to do some, but in fact, it seemed that the cards were asking me to take a time out.
Monday - Day 4 - King of Cups - 3 of Pentacles.
I did this pretty well, putting my wobbly emotions to one side and just took the journey one day at a time. All in all I felt like I had achieved both points on the pillars.Tuesday Day 5 - 9 of Swords - King of Wands
Yeah and on Tuesday I was having a big emotional CRASH... and when that happens my mind creates my own worst horrors. The usual things, but felt amplified whilst alone in a forgien country, feeling unable to say how I was feeling probably a) bit 'homesick' but also b)Total lack of control.I am a very independent person, I spend my life doing what I want and when I want to, I have the ability to come and go as I please and I travel all over the country to see people and do things. If I want to go for a walk, I do so etc.
But, when in a foriegn country where I cant be this strong person but I feel vulnerable and feel like I have to put up a 'Im HAPPY' face to the people who put me up, and my boyfriend who was busy working.... It all just fed my nasty anxious depressive nature. And of course.. when looking towards my Destiny Card I was too busy THINKING and not enough CONNECTING.
I should have been brave, let my emotions show, be the King of the Wands and be more bold and daring, but I felt I couldnt.
Wednesday Day 6 - The Star and the Hermit.
To avoid the princess feeling like if you wish it to happen it will happen - life doesnt work like that, and I have learnt that you can't play the usual 'Oh i'm fine (subtext I'm miserable and depressed but wont tell you why)' doesnt work in your or other people's second language. So, I feel this was the 'stop being a princess' card and just get on with it and say what you want.What really helped was the Hermit - have a bit of time to connect, to feel the power of the Divine Within and Without... feel BETTER.
And that did work, and I did do the Star somewhat too but its not easy for me to ask for things rather than just hoping the people around me will instantly know what I want and when I say the opposite of what I mean. This is a lesson Magick has tried to teach me many times, but its only something I have learnt to do in the Circle, but obviously something I need to learn in life - to say what I want and why I want it, rather than silently hoping and outwardly saying the opposite. Once I have been the Hermit and worked out what it is I truly want, I need to express it openly and honestly, rather than secretly praying and getting miserable when my secret hopes don't come true because I don't make them happen.
Thursday Day 7 - Ace of Wands and 8 of Cups.
Well, I was to avoid the Ace of Wands.... and by this time on wednesday (drawn for Thursday) I was feeling pretty bloody miserable. I was feeling really vulnerable and powerless, upset because there was a whole country I wasn't seeing because my boyfriend was working or the family wanted me to do things etc in the house.... and I was feeling very frustrated and alone and miserable.And after a while of feeling miserable I go from upset/depressed to ARGH ITS ALL YOUR FAULT and get angry and annoyed at the people around me. So it was very very wise for the Ace of Wands to come here asking me to keep a lid on the anger, to reflect and see exactly what is causing this pain and upset....
The 8 of Cups is an advice card which on Weds/Thurs I was really really struggling with. Why would the advice be the 8 of cups? Am I doomed to feel this way? Is this really what my HGA is asking me to achieve my will??
Well, no. What the card was trying to encourage me to see is that I was making me miserable, I was sitting here with all this secret hopes of what I wanted to do, not voicing them, not asking for them, and so was in a cycle of disappointment. So this card was asking me the next day to not give in to this cycle and step outside from it, else my whole experience and time with my boyfriend on his days off would be just me feeling all this repressed misery and being miserable and horrible...
So I stopped. On the Thursday we went to meet his mother, which was OK if not a bit weird, but it went OK. Good for a first awkward impression lol. And was not as horrendous as I had made it out to be in my head. We even went out to the cinema afterwards and it was great, we were doing things together and it was just brilliant. I felt a shift, I wasnt going to secretly hope, I was going to ask what I wanted and in turn we were both much more happier and connected :D
And I think part of my problem was - which is normal when I am feeling low - is that when I turn to tarot I expect a sudden AHA moment or some sign to say things will magically get better on its own. They dont, you have to work at it, Will it to change, talk about it without being emotional. Sometimes detachment and connecting to the Higher Power is the way forward. Expectations and holding people hostage to your secret demands and expectations are not helpful in any way shape or form.
And so, without looking to tarot to solve my problems for me, I decided to stop 'looking' and so for the rest of the trip I didnt pull a single card...
and ya know what, it felt the right thing to do. To just let things FLOW back into happiness rather than being miserable and constantly reflecting on misery and how it will suddenly change by looking at misery.
Friday Day 8 - Sunday Day 10
I have drawn a card in retrospect for the rest of the time.. what I did well in this time...6 of Swords and The Aeon.
Ah, isnt this a nice pair to see...
I avoided miserably pulling everything apart and disecting it to work out why I was so unhappy with the unhappiness... I stopped reflected and observing.
And I was encouraged to just feel, enjoy and be transformed by the experience, to let the sights and the people, the culture etc to just envelope me and make me happy. And yes, once I stopped resisting and dealing with my lack of control and my vulnerability I had an awesome time. I was able to just be... and strangely when we consider Judgement (Aeon) to be the judgement and help of higher powers or older people his parents were great at helping me just enjoy, to learn, to feel and experience the whole country and lifestyle they have. Once I put my faith in everyone else's hands, it felt amazing. It felt more freeing, to just surrender and let go.... and it was all awesome!!!!
Monday Day 11
To avoid - Prince of CupsBeing too reflective into my emotions, to not be harsh on myself. I am to avoid making myself miserable.
It is VERY hard to be back in the UK. I feel like I am constantly pouting because my love is in Belgium, and the love and family I was welcomed into was so inspiring and everything I saw and did after I surrendered into the country was beyond my expectations and made me so happy.
But, I am to try and avoid the post-holiday post-seperation blues.
To Encourage - the Magus.
What is it I Will?? What do I need? Maybe I need to focus on the present, get back into work and Work and how I am to move forward from this experience and where else my Will wants to take me?
The Magus looks towards the Destiny, the 2 of Swords - dont think, don't get blue, connect to the power and to what is meant to happen next. Let this experience feed your path forward, not keep you stuck looking backward.
Plus, its been a good few days since I did the LRBP, and it'll be good for me to get everything all vibrating again :D
Report
Well, I did have a Prince of Cups style 'woe is me' moment at work. I tried hard not to, but everything got n top of me and I did have a mini cry - but I was back on the work horse soon enough again and got through the day.
And doing some meditation last night really helped, ok I wouldnt say it got me back on my 'centre' but I'm getting there.
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
2 days catch up.
So... I am now in a foreign land, and whilst my Beau is at work I have a few moments to update this.
I faced the fear and did it anyway for the Flight. And infact, I loved it :D The amazing feeling of flying through the air, of knowing that the hard part of the journey was done and all the bits of the travelling jigsaw fitted together with simple ease. The 3 of Disks always has this for me - with planning comes freedom to progress.
This is done in retrospect for today.. and I pulled
To avoid - 9 of Swords
Ah the beautiful cruelty that comes from within. No one else can poison you, only yourself. And today I have done that. I feel like I have let all the little things just stab inside me and I have let them go unoticed around me. I have been suffering in silence.
I have not avoided the 9 of swords very well today - maybe if I knew about it then perhaps I wouldnt have done so??
To Enourage - the King of Wands
Daring, demanding, pushy, explorative, sexy, unpredictable and living a life of risk....
All the things I have NOT done today. I feel like I used all my courage yesterday and today I am a big cowardly lion. Not helped by the fact I wanted to say things and be the King, but the Swords above were cutting deep and making me silence myself.
And I have wasted a day of potential, all by my own weakness. BUT tomorrow is different.
Tomorrow I am to
Avoid - The Star
Life does not get handed to you on a platter. Life doesnt suddenly get better until you MAKE it better. The Star is the card that reminds us we build the temple, we make a pathway through the chaos to find the light above, it does not find us.
To Encourage - The Hermit
Go within, feel what is is you are hiding in the darkness, the repressed desires and wants and let them come up to be looked at. The can not harm you or hurt you if you look at them, explore them. There is no regret of ´what if´if you look at it and make it real.
I faced the fear and did it anyway for the Flight. And infact, I loved it :D The amazing feeling of flying through the air, of knowing that the hard part of the journey was done and all the bits of the travelling jigsaw fitted together with simple ease. The 3 of Disks always has this for me - with planning comes freedom to progress.
Day 5
This is done in retrospect for today.. and I pulled
To avoid - 9 of Swords
Ah the beautiful cruelty that comes from within. No one else can poison you, only yourself. And today I have done that. I feel like I have let all the little things just stab inside me and I have let them go unoticed around me. I have been suffering in silence.
I have not avoided the 9 of swords very well today - maybe if I knew about it then perhaps I wouldnt have done so??
To Enourage - the King of Wands
Daring, demanding, pushy, explorative, sexy, unpredictable and living a life of risk....
All the things I have NOT done today. I feel like I used all my courage yesterday and today I am a big cowardly lion. Not helped by the fact I wanted to say things and be the King, but the Swords above were cutting deep and making me silence myself.
And I have wasted a day of potential, all by my own weakness. BUT tomorrow is different.
Day 6
Tomorrow I am to
Avoid - The Star
Life does not get handed to you on a platter. Life doesnt suddenly get better until you MAKE it better. The Star is the card that reminds us we build the temple, we make a pathway through the chaos to find the light above, it does not find us.
To Encourage - The Hermit
Go within, feel what is is you are hiding in the darkness, the repressed desires and wants and let them come up to be looked at. The can not harm you or hurt you if you look at them, explore them. There is no regret of ´what if´if you look at it and make it real.
Monday, 7 January 2013
Day 4
Review..
I have definitely not repressed things today - and infact I do feel much better about it.
I have discovered today that I have a huge fear of the unknown and an ever bigger fear of flying (which is why I have always avoided flying, it has never 'bothered' me and I like holidaying in the UK rather than aboard). Only, as part of my destiny I have fallen in love with a man who (currently) lives in Belgium.
So... tomorrow is getting over my newly discovered and unrepressed fear of flying mid air in a massive metal plane.
Holy Crap.
And I have actively been trying to balance the fear with excitement and eager energy - about becoming the Emperor of my fear, of my usual 'feel the fear and do it anyway' attitude to life. I mostly have it and I WILL get on that plane, but I might cry like a baby first for a while... again.
Tomorrows draw
To avoid being the King of Cups - and in this case I'm thinking the over dramatic, melodrama, crying, freaking out person... relying on others to get me through this like an emotional vampire. I will be fine, I just need to focus on the Above to help me, on letting positive energy from a higher source, rather than seeking it like an attention seeking child from others.
To become the 3 of Disks - to be focused on the 'journey'... one step at a time. I always think of the Triangle as a moving vehicle. You have make your bed, now lie in it and get on with it.
I do feel inspired by the imagery of this deck too.
And I seem to nee to encourage more Earthy energy into my life to get me moving forward spiritually. I think I am so airy I get in a huge tizz about things... and now that I try not to repress stuff I do get emotional as well as a bit tizzy. But these cards are saying to get take the journey one step at a time, practical, methodical, the horse energy I love - the stallion who seeks new realms, the shire horse that says to take it one step at a time firmly rooted and solid with it too.
I have definitely not repressed things today - and infact I do feel much better about it.
I have discovered today that I have a huge fear of the unknown and an ever bigger fear of flying (which is why I have always avoided flying, it has never 'bothered' me and I like holidaying in the UK rather than aboard). Only, as part of my destiny I have fallen in love with a man who (currently) lives in Belgium.
So... tomorrow is getting over my newly discovered and unrepressed fear of flying mid air in a massive metal plane.
Holy Crap.
And I have actively been trying to balance the fear with excitement and eager energy - about becoming the Emperor of my fear, of my usual 'feel the fear and do it anyway' attitude to life. I mostly have it and I WILL get on that plane, but I might cry like a baby first for a while... again.
Tomorrows draw
To avoid being the King of Cups - and in this case I'm thinking the over dramatic, melodrama, crying, freaking out person... relying on others to get me through this like an emotional vampire. I will be fine, I just need to focus on the Above to help me, on letting positive energy from a higher source, rather than seeking it like an attention seeking child from others.
To become the 3 of Disks - to be focused on the 'journey'... one step at a time. I always think of the Triangle as a moving vehicle. You have make your bed, now lie in it and get on with it.
I do feel inspired by the imagery of this deck too.
And I seem to nee to encourage more Earthy energy into my life to get me moving forward spiritually. I think I am so airy I get in a huge tizz about things... and now that I try not to repress stuff I do get emotional as well as a bit tizzy. But these cards are saying to get take the journey one step at a time, practical, methodical, the horse energy I love - the stallion who seeks new realms, the shire horse that says to take it one step at a time firmly rooted and solid with it too.
Saturday, 5 January 2013
Day 3
The Pillars so far.....
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Review of Day 2
So, had a pretty good day today.
The Princess was me this morning, I was a bit 'in the clouds' but I'm accepting that that is what I needed to do for a time, I needed to connect with Reiki and give myself a self-treatment, I needed to just kick back and chill and relax. But I was focused and grounded.
I've also had an epic day at work - moved to a different ward with a completely different speciality than my own and rather than panic about it I went to the loo, deep breathes, centred and asked the Higher Selves of the team I was working with to help me get everything done and patients sorted. And it worked a treat! Left work feeling like I had connected with my patients and their needs, had a laugh and got all the jobs sorted! I feel amazing :-D and my spirit is singing with happiness. I love my job, I love it even more when I feel I did good and connected with patients rather than just doing 'jobs' all day long.
Day 3
Tomorrow I am to ...
Avoid - the High Priestess.
What the hell!!! But then I thought, actually I should avoid ignoring my intuition, I should avoid ignoring my gut instinct and realise that I have it there for a reason. I should avoid repression of it.
Also, as the HPS is Artemis, the hunter, make sure I realise where my arrows are going and that they do go hitting the wrong things!
Encourage - the Emperor
Taking things in hand, putting things right and carrying on this feeling of being 'top of the world'. The Emperor card in the Via looks so interesting, the figure embraces the Sun and Moon and extends himself out and in, he is 'in control' because he is balancing the forces within him, he has authority with kindness, he has empathy without being overwhelmed, the Emperor has to be a Father and that means ruling with love and discipline. So tomorrow it is that sort of day... interesting.
When I look at the HPS and the Emperor I see how the sun that is repressed or hidden in the HPS is actually deeply connected and balanced in the Emperor card... interesting stuff :D
I'm loving the Via btw. amazing deck :D
Friday, 4 January 2013
Day 2
Reviewing the Advice
So... today I feel I did something great, in that I didn't feel bogged down in all the possible turmoil of a particular person and history - I got happy and excited and talked to the person in that frame of mind and lots of interesting things happened..
Happy interesting things :D
So, I did well to avoid the 'woe is me' and feeling all torn and full of problems of the 3 of Swords.
The 5 of Wands I feel I haven't really 'hit' as there are things I still need to do tonight as part of my daily 'tasks' and its half past 11 at night LOL. Good job I am on a Late shift tomorrow ;)
What I have done today is for the first time in years bought myself some gorgeous jewellery that I feel 'becomes' me and has crystals in it which feel anchored in my energy and are resonating with it, rather than just empty jewels on my body. I have also, for the first time in about a year actively done some Reiki on the flat (due to a ritual yesterday which gave me some interesting critters in my aura during sleep - which won't be there tonight thank the Gods) and actively done a healing treatment on myself and feel so so so so much better for it. Like a hot deep bath for my energy centres and my soul. Really good stuff.
So, 5 of Wands - all the things to distract me - I have had a day of faff too,,, like aimlessly going around shops and faffing this evening since I got home. I should have got stuff DONE already, but other things compete for my attention like catching up on the iplayer lol. Whilst I feel I have some of my wands in the good little ordered shape of the pentacle... I dont feel they all are. But there is still time to do so.
Tomorrow's cards
The Left - to avoid - The Princess of Cups.
Here is a lady who is dreamy.... dreamy dreamy willow of the wisp. She floats on moon beams and ponders the wonders of colours and life.
The Right - to encourage - The Ace of Pentacles...
Being grounded, practical and getting shit done.
Well there we have it. Easy advice to follow one hopes, but I do feel very spiritually higher level ahh haaa ahh haa (thats me doing my mystical sing song voice to describe the feeling of resonating on a higher level).
The cards aren't saying not to feel that, feeling that is good, but its no good if you sit all day and think and feel and be in that moment, or contemplate how one spiritual feeling feels against the other (two of Swords again!). I have too much to be DO - money to sort, bags to pack, tickets to print as I'm off to Belgium next week to float around on the wisps of love - not to mention being at work when its going to be really busy.
Less floaty and feeling, more inspired and doing, spirituality and energy work is no use if you dont use it, apply it and let it manifest.
Ok cards, heres me hoping against the odds.
Descriptions of the Decans and the Destiny Card
So... Marcus on the facebook group today asked us to consider the images of the Decans for our Destiny Card - click here for the images.
My destiny card is the 2 of Swords and it states Agrippa's image (via Picatrix) is
And from Book T
Contradictory characters in the same nature, strength through suffering; pleasure after pain. Sacrifice and trouble, yet strength arising therefrom, ... as though the pain itself had brought forth beauty. Arrangement, peace restored; truce; truth and untruth; sorrow and sympathy. Aid to the weak; arrangement; justice, unselfishness; also a tendency to repetition of affronts on being pardoned; injury when meaning well; given to petitions; also a want of tact, and asking question of little moment; talkative.
Strength through sufferining... sacrifice and strength from that, truth and untruth, sorrow and sympathy, aid to the weak, unselfishness...These are all the qualities that I found in my life after I found my purpose in life.
Some people always know what they want to DO when they get older. As a kid they are playing the policeman or the baker, the teacher or the doctor because thats what they know they want to do. I never had such childlike dreams. When I was a little girl I was taught in a school by nuns, so I thought the only real 'career' option for me as a woman was to either get married and have babies (ewww) or become a nun. So I never really thought about what I wanted to be because I thought that was the option. So I settled on this little idea in my head without much thought or worry because I thought it was a fact of life.
It was only as I grew up 11+ that I heard of women having other careers, being scientists and doctors etc, and inspired by a TV show I thought 'oh a Vet, I'd like to be that'. Never really thought about it again, it was just an idea caught on by my environment (and I was highly influenced by my environment then). As I continued through school and even college I had no real idea of what I wanted to do. Like most young people I just went through academic course after another hoping somewhere I'll find it... or fall into it.
When I was 22 I became really ill - hospitalised 3 times over 6 months, operations, dressings, injections, the lot. And as I lay there in a hospital bed watching the world around me I watched the nurse's do stuff - drips and discharging patients, medications and vital signs... I saw all of this and suddenly I felt a huge realisation. I need to be a nurse, I knew in my soul thats what I needed to be doing but my head ran through a million reasons why I couldn't including the fact I don't literally know my arse from my elbow (I dumped Science subjects very quickly at school).
But from this suffering I found part of my destiny. My own experience has fed into my rapport with patients, has helped me learn and aspire something greater than myself in my life. It deeply affects my philosophy and understanding of what is IMPORTANT in life - because every day I see others in that crux moment of life and death and wishing things were different, and I hear their stories, I hold their hand, I hug them whilst they cry as well as wash them and care for them, offer my experience and get doctors to come and see them when they are poorly. I do this work to help the vulnerable and I love it. I would never think of myself as a healer or a great nurse - but I do my bit as a person trying to help out another person.
We are all part of the Divine - we are all brothers and sisters through life, all made of the same star dust as the Gods. Just we forget it all too quickly, we get bogged down in the decisions we think are important, the house, the car, the clothes etc - but every day I get this wonderful privilege of helping others and it always reminds me how precious our time here is, how we shouldn't be focusing on stuff, we should be focusing on Love, on Divine Love and the Goddess/God/whatever Divine Source you connect with.
On the outside people assume I see so much suffering, I don't, I see so much love and I value the fact I get paid every day to see it
My destiny card is the 2 of Swords and it states Agrippa's image (via Picatrix) is
"An angry man, in whose hand is a Pipe, and the form of a man reading in a book; the operation of this is in justifying and helping the miserable and weak against the powerful and wicked:"
- angry man with a pipe - not an image of me as such.
- Man reading a book - Hell yeah thats me
- Helping the miserable and the weak - most definitely part of my Destiny.
And from Book T
Contradictory characters in the same nature, strength through suffering; pleasure after pain. Sacrifice and trouble, yet strength arising therefrom, ... as though the pain itself had brought forth beauty. Arrangement, peace restored; truce; truth and untruth; sorrow and sympathy. Aid to the weak; arrangement; justice, unselfishness; also a tendency to repetition of affronts on being pardoned; injury when meaning well; given to petitions; also a want of tact, and asking question of little moment; talkative.
Strength through sufferining... sacrifice and strength from that, truth and untruth, sorrow and sympathy, aid to the weak, unselfishness...These are all the qualities that I found in my life after I found my purpose in life.
Some people always know what they want to DO when they get older. As a kid they are playing the policeman or the baker, the teacher or the doctor because thats what they know they want to do. I never had such childlike dreams. When I was a little girl I was taught in a school by nuns, so I thought the only real 'career' option for me as a woman was to either get married and have babies (ewww) or become a nun. So I never really thought about what I wanted to be because I thought that was the option. So I settled on this little idea in my head without much thought or worry because I thought it was a fact of life.
It was only as I grew up 11+ that I heard of women having other careers, being scientists and doctors etc, and inspired by a TV show I thought 'oh a Vet, I'd like to be that'. Never really thought about it again, it was just an idea caught on by my environment (and I was highly influenced by my environment then). As I continued through school and even college I had no real idea of what I wanted to do. Like most young people I just went through academic course after another hoping somewhere I'll find it... or fall into it.
When I was 22 I became really ill - hospitalised 3 times over 6 months, operations, dressings, injections, the lot. And as I lay there in a hospital bed watching the world around me I watched the nurse's do stuff - drips and discharging patients, medications and vital signs... I saw all of this and suddenly I felt a huge realisation. I need to be a nurse, I knew in my soul thats what I needed to be doing but my head ran through a million reasons why I couldn't including the fact I don't literally know my arse from my elbow (I dumped Science subjects very quickly at school).
But from this suffering I found part of my destiny. My own experience has fed into my rapport with patients, has helped me learn and aspire something greater than myself in my life. It deeply affects my philosophy and understanding of what is IMPORTANT in life - because every day I see others in that crux moment of life and death and wishing things were different, and I hear their stories, I hold their hand, I hug them whilst they cry as well as wash them and care for them, offer my experience and get doctors to come and see them when they are poorly. I do this work to help the vulnerable and I love it. I would never think of myself as a healer or a great nurse - but I do my bit as a person trying to help out another person.
We are all part of the Divine - we are all brothers and sisters through life, all made of the same star dust as the Gods. Just we forget it all too quickly, we get bogged down in the decisions we think are important, the house, the car, the clothes etc - but every day I get this wonderful privilege of helping others and it always reminds me how precious our time here is, how we shouldn't be focusing on stuff, we should be focusing on Love, on Divine Love and the Goddess/God/whatever Divine Source you connect with.
On the outside people assume I see so much suffering, I don't, I see so much love and I value the fact I get paid every day to see it
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Day One
The Destiny Card
As shown in the previous post, my Destiny card is the 2 of Swords, this is because my birthday falls within the First Decan of Libra, which is ruled by the Moon.And this card in the Via tarot very strongly reflects my destiny, or rather my constant battle about achieving my destiny.
My personality is very much seen in the stereotyped Librian character within Western Astrology (although my own personal feelings on astrology are more strongly leaning towards Horary and Medieval astrology rather than modern psychological post-Alan Leo astrology, but thats a rant for another day!). I am argumentative in the case that I see both sides of the coin and their values and vices, I can see this objectively and distantly, and in seeing all of this I can barely make a decision lol. Too much information, thoughts, research, logic really spoils my broth. And what is harder to do in Spiritual terms is how I can strongly differentiate between my head and my heart/soul/higher self. I struggle because of myself, I feel the weight of the swords on my chest as the weight of choice and indecision - but what I should be doing is closing my eyes and connecting with Spirit and living my life by that wisdom in conjunction with my head - not purely with this 'academic' approach to life and sitting on the fence.
The card in the Via tarot is so beautiful in showing my Destiny.
In the bottom there is the character, feeling the weight of decision, the problem of two paths and picking between the two, and the more he thinks the more he adds to the both arguments and so gets drawn further and further away from the centre, the self, the POINT.
And yet, this character in closing his eyes draws on the Light, on Spirit, on God/dess to help pick a path, and suddenly when you close your eyes and asks for guidance, work with the Divine to craft the path you want, the confusion and shadow is dispersed and only Light and Wisdom and CLARITY comes forward.
And the highest motive shows the scales in perfect balance between the Sword, the Moon the Left and the Right pillar. And I have a strong feeling this is why my practice of the Kabbalistic Cross and the Rituals of the Pentagram are so important to help me refocus, to feel centred, to give me focus and concentration and power that stems from the Gods rather than my ego to help me in my life.
This is my destiny - or rather how I can actively get to the point of my destiny - by just focusing on the Gods, on the Divine Will and not what I THINK I should be doing.
But of course that is easier said that done, far far easier said than done!
The Twisting Pillars begin...
So, The Left Pillar, that of the the obstacles, cards giving advice on how to avoid being stuck in what is away from my Path.
And the Right, giving advice on how to gravitate towards my Destiny, how can I walk the talk of my own Divine Will.
Today the base of these pillars are reflected in the 3 of Swords, and the 5 of Wands.
My advice tomorrow to overcome my obstacles is to not get caught up in pain, in arguments and feeling tortured within. This is something that I do, and I know that it sucks my motivation away from me. Here is the thoughts of the 'why bother? No one cares what I do and whether is for my higher good or my ego, there is no 'good' that can come from any of this' and it hurts, it overwhelms and it makes me stop, it takes away my ability to do anything productive and makes me wallow in self-pity and pain. So... this is the Tarot saying 'You see this, you do this stupid shit - STOP IT'. The character tries hard to penetrate the darkness , the self-created turmoil and to go beyond the melancholy of Saturn and get the feeling of being closer to God (This card is Saturn in Libra).
Moving towards the Greater Light is the 5 of Wands (Saturn in Leo) is to put the energy into something productive, to try hard to refocus the energy on rather than self-destruction which ultimately re-affirms the ego, but to bask in the Light to try and resurrect the Divine Will. Five is a number of conflict, of activity and ultimately of something coming close to 'winning (and becoming the victory of the 6 of Wands). Be the Lion made in Beauty, not the one made of false light.. To rise above the conflict and petty games and to just walk the path of the Light.
Really interesting how these two cards are ruled by Saturn - the planet of formation, of the dense matter, the realm that is furthest from Earth and so is the slowest to move and feels sluggish, impenitrable and full of Shadow, yet is the realm that is closest to the Divine, the one that is the God Head, of Zeus. Two cards giving me advice on how to focus on the positive creative Good of saturn, rather than the abyss feeling of time wasted. I create productive things with my head and heart and my time by doing things, not by sitting around on my arse or getting involved in things I dont need to get involved in.
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Picking the Deck..
So... deciding which deck to pick for these sorts of projects is always the hardest decision.
Do you go with a deck that has less symbolism, or that has hundreds of symbols? That is Rider Waite based or Thoth or even Tarot de Marseilles...
All of these are valuable thoughts and questions that are faced the tarot collector on a new project - and that's only if they look at decks already in their collection! If you start looking for the 'ideal' new deck for the project you can see how hours are easily lost in the art of picking a deck.
The picking of the deck though is an arbitrary process - it doesn't really matter WHAT deck you pick as long as you pick a deck. I however, often like to think about the deck that is going to be the ideal companion to the journey... which deck offers the me the best 'friend' to take along the journey.
So, I pulled a card from some of my decks I thought might be good for the job. I asked for an outcome card of our relationship together through this Tarot Life process...
And so.... thinking about these cards and the decks themselves I actually began to whittle it down to two.. The Via and the Mary El, or their cards, the High Priestess and the Moon.
These are interesting cards, do you go with person who receives and interprets the subconcious, that asks you to bridge that gap between the Divine and your ego, your mundane self and walk a life as the two united... or do I pick the deck that gave me the Moon, the revelation of secret knowledge, of the shadows in the darkness that will slowly come to light, but there is much 'more' in that darkness than first meets the eye and am I really to undergo that process??
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So... to help me some more I picked up my latest Lenormand deck, the Gilded Reverie Lenormand to help me some more, combined with my 'Destiny' card from the two decks..
The Mary El shows me that the Woman (me) will have the key to unlock something within me... that there are things to learn and to reveal, this echoes the feeling of the Moon card which is about searching, unlocking, discovering things in the darkness and bringing it into Light.
But, is that necessarily a good thing? Will it be overwhelming?
The Via is covered by the Woman, who is looking towards the Via cards, and through them to the Cross. In the Lenormand system the Cross is a card of obstacles, and ordeals.. however the greater 'wisdom' of this card is that the suffering stems from the time we resist the path that is in our highest Divine Good. When we resist the change, the knowledge and the wisdom we feel pain and suffering. We 'bear' the cross rather than become transformed. And when I look at this cross, with the Destiny card from the Via I see something that 'clicks' of the Divine light and how I should focus on that rather than my thoughts and the 'logical' side of things, and in that I can perhaps become the High Priestess card.
So, I picked the Via for this project... especially for this stage. We will see how things go what happens next month!
Do you go with a deck that has less symbolism, or that has hundreds of symbols? That is Rider Waite based or Thoth or even Tarot de Marseilles...
All of these are valuable thoughts and questions that are faced the tarot collector on a new project - and that's only if they look at decks already in their collection! If you start looking for the 'ideal' new deck for the project you can see how hours are easily lost in the art of picking a deck.
The picking of the deck though is an arbitrary process - it doesn't really matter WHAT deck you pick as long as you pick a deck. I however, often like to think about the deck that is going to be the ideal companion to the journey... which deck offers the me the best 'friend' to take along the journey.
So, I pulled a card from some of my decks I thought might be good for the job. I asked for an outcome card of our relationship together through this Tarot Life process...
 |
| Top Left - Right...Tarot of Vampires, The Wild Unknown, The Thoth Bottom Left - Right .... Mary El, The Via, the Tarot of the Sidhe |
And so.... thinking about these cards and the decks themselves I actually began to whittle it down to two.. The Via and the Mary El, or their cards, the High Priestess and the Moon.
These are interesting cards, do you go with person who receives and interprets the subconcious, that asks you to bridge that gap between the Divine and your ego, your mundane self and walk a life as the two united... or do I pick the deck that gave me the Moon, the revelation of secret knowledge, of the shadows in the darkness that will slowly come to light, but there is much 'more' in that darkness than first meets the eye and am I really to undergo that process??
.JPG)
So... to help me some more I picked up my latest Lenormand deck, the Gilded Reverie Lenormand to help me some more, combined with my 'Destiny' card from the two decks..The Mary El shows me that the Woman (me) will have the key to unlock something within me... that there are things to learn and to reveal, this echoes the feeling of the Moon card which is about searching, unlocking, discovering things in the darkness and bringing it into Light.
But, is that necessarily a good thing? Will it be overwhelming?
The Via is covered by the Woman, who is looking towards the Via cards, and through them to the Cross. In the Lenormand system the Cross is a card of obstacles, and ordeals.. however the greater 'wisdom' of this card is that the suffering stems from the time we resist the path that is in our highest Divine Good. When we resist the change, the knowledge and the wisdom we feel pain and suffering. We 'bear' the cross rather than become transformed. And when I look at this cross, with the Destiny card from the Via I see something that 'clicks' of the Divine light and how I should focus on that rather than my thoughts and the 'logical' side of things, and in that I can perhaps become the High Priestess card.
So, I picked the Via for this project... especially for this stage. We will see how things go what happens next month!
The Introduction..
So, one of my 'new year' resolutions is as always, get deeper with my Tarot work which will get me working deeper on my spiritual journey. This is a resolution that starts with earnest - daily readings, reading for others, tarot forums, tarot searches TAROT TAROT TAROT...
Then... I miss a day or two because of working (crazy shifts)... then I go away and miss a few more...
Then it just fades away. By January 31st the Tarot Resolution is faded dream and I go back to just using the cards on an ad hoc basis, when I need to use them for meditation or for magick or even (shock horror!) when I need to do a reading and get some clarity on things!
Well... this year something has changed, this year I want to do something deeper and DIFFERENT, and of course this is greatly inspired by something else. This blog and this Tarot Gate Blog is inspired by Marcus Katz and his new journey of Tarot Life - working with the tarot over 12 months to change your life via tarot.
If you are interested in this concept then please go to the Tarot Professionals website or check out Amazon's UK Kindle version for this booklet and the beginning of the journey!
And the only reason I am starting a blog for this is that in January I will be doing a lot of travelling and so its easier to blog it only than carry lots of notebooks around with me (taking up valuable weight in my suitcase).
So.... heres to a Tarotific 2013 and let the cards help us change our lives and step towards our Destiny!
Then... I miss a day or two because of working (crazy shifts)... then I go away and miss a few more...
Then it just fades away. By January 31st the Tarot Resolution is faded dream and I go back to just using the cards on an ad hoc basis, when I need to use them for meditation or for magick or even (shock horror!) when I need to do a reading and get some clarity on things!
Well... this year something has changed, this year I want to do something deeper and DIFFERENT, and of course this is greatly inspired by something else. This blog and this Tarot Gate Blog is inspired by Marcus Katz and his new journey of Tarot Life - working with the tarot over 12 months to change your life via tarot.
If you are interested in this concept then please go to the Tarot Professionals website or check out Amazon's UK Kindle version for this booklet and the beginning of the journey!
And the only reason I am starting a blog for this is that in January I will be doing a lot of travelling and so its easier to blog it only than carry lots of notebooks around with me (taking up valuable weight in my suitcase).
So.... heres to a Tarotific 2013 and let the cards help us change our lives and step towards our Destiny!
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